I spent the night with Tayeska last night. It felt really exciting and adventurous, especially doing it in our house! It's as though she's waking me up from a big sleep. I'm beginning to feel like my own person again, not just a role within the family household. Me. Exploring who I am or who I might be.
I told Dad about her. I couldn't believe I'd said it, but the words just spilled out of my mouth. No point keeping any more secrets, though. He was surprisingly cool about it - worryingly so. Since I was on a roll, I told him about Lucas and my plan to move out as well. Shit sort of hit the fan. Turns out he was thinking of selling his business so that we could keep the house. Why are Lucas and I always the last to know? I felt torn then: should I stay or should I go now? :) Him offering to give up his job is like him giving up his life for us. But I think it's too late. Even if he did spend more time at home with us, would things actually be any different? It's been two years and he still hasn't talked to me about how I'm coping with Mum's death.
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